The coffee date

<setting the scene, because over here at Not Pink, we love to set the scene>

Sunday 30th, 2022, our long awaited "Shall we go for a coffee and a catch up?, feels as though I've not seen you in ages lol" date. The 'LOL' is essential, I seem to type LOL at the end of all my text messages, just as some would 'xx' or 'xoxo' or '.', especially when I know there could be potential for awkwardness or subtle anger towards me because I haven't bothered to message, update or check in with you in nearly 2 months. It sounds so much worse when you write it out, oh god I hope you agree to see me and hopefully you're not angry. "... LOl" *hits send*.

"Sure, does Sunday work for you?"

"Yes, see u then x"

You arrive first, shock, and I arrive just after, again are we surprised? No. I can see you waiting at the end of the road, by the corner and near the edge of the pavement, standing out purposefully, so that we can't miss one other, because boy that's been happening a lot recently. We've not spoken in a while, a month and 18 days to be precise, but who's counting?. You've not yet clocked me, I'm still too far away to begin talking at a normal volume, in fact I think I'd have to shout, like really shout for you to make out what I am saying, and if you turn around now, I'm going to have to begin the extremely awkward run/waddle towards you, just to shorten the length of time that you are stood on your own and me running/waddling/galloping idk.

You turn around, I begin fast walking, now the waddle, f*ck this, we are now running, this is awkward, why am I so awkward?, I wish I could have been the one standing and waiting and you walking towards me, because I bet you would have tackled this painfully awkward and cringe situation far better than me. But no, I had to be late, again.

"Hi"

"Hi, sorry I'm late!, how are you?"

"Good, thank you. You?"

"Yeah not bad, ha!"

"Shall we go inside then?"

"Yeah sure, sorry I'm late ... again!"

<silence>

"That's okay"

<the end>

That short analogy was a visual/literal representation of the current stance of our relationship, from my perspective anyway, and on a scale of 1 being so very incorrect and 10 being bang on, hit the nail on the head, ding ding ding, where are we standing?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

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Anything from 6 onwards, I accept and any number lower, I now know and refer to you as a liar. But hey guys, how has the last month and 18 days been for you? missed me? forgotten all about me?, cool, so anyways. Sunday has come around once again, in fact its been around 5 or so times since our last conversation, but I'd like to remind you all, that Sunday is still very much our day, so thank you for setting aside some of your time this evening to get cosy, get comfortable and enjoy this entry with me.

A few things that make me feel happy

Since starting my new job (can you believe its nearly been 2 months since I started ... nope, neither can I), I've found myself appreciating such simple things which make me feel truly warm and happy on the inside, way more than when I was without a position of responsibility. I thought to re-re-reintroduce a Not Pink entry, I'd speak on a few things that have made me feel this way, and perhaps if your sat reading this entry in a bit of a funk, dreading the Monday blues of tomorrow or are just in need of a pick me up, then here. Or if you have stumbled across this episode in the hope it'll add to the cosiness of your Sunday, then you and me my friend are on the same page.

being alone.

In yourself you will be able to recognise whether you relate to an extroverted or introverted lifestyle, or perhaps you are a bit of both, depending on the situation. This is me. There is a very unique and comforting aspect about sitting in a room with your friends and chatting sweet nothings to one another, cracking each other up as you recall funny memories, these treasured moments are often even more special than the moments you are recalling. A situation like so is an example of when you'd encounter happiness, warmth and comfort in people rather being by yourself. For me, these treasured times are treasured because they don't occur every evening, every week or every month, at least not for me, and so, to fill the time and space in between these occasions I must be able to enjoy my own company, which I do, so much, maybe a little too much, but I've always been this way and I don't mind in the slightest.

However, the chance of any 'alone time' has become limited since starting my new job, therefore finding a chance in the evening to turn off my phone, put on a podcast and do something like, clean my room or have an extra few minutes in the shower, is bliss to me. And now, more than ever, I truly value being alone.

organising.

or shall I say, re-organising. I have a friend who may or may not be reading this but we've always been able to bond over our love for re-doing and re-organising our rooms. Experimenting with change through this channel is the only way I know how to find comfort in change, isn't that bizarre?. This weekend, on my days off, I went to home sense and bought some new bits for my room. Spent way too much money. Questioned whether it was necessary. Then established, it was in fact the most necessary thing I've done for myself in a while. And that was enough to convince me. Off I went home and the re-organising started almost immediately. The before, during and after filled me with so much happiness and warmth, I couldn't wait to turn on my TV, put on Gossip Girl and disappear in to my freshly clean and plumped cushions.

makeup.

Not too sure what I can say about this one, but it was one of the first things I thought of when I was questioning the little things that have made me feel genuinely happy recently. Cult Beauty has become one of my most clicked on apps in the past few weeks, not quite as much as I tap on to the the ASOS new in section, but on a similar level, you get me?. The accumulation of watching hours and hours of makeup videos on YouTube, browsing endlessly on Cult Beauty and then applying said makeup onto my face, the whole process is like therapy to me. It's like my brain slows down when its just me, my makeup and an episode of Gossip Girl (sounds ever so lonely but I promise it's not .... the girls who get it, get it and the girls that don't, don't). Sidenote : I find great difficulty in not hyper focusing on multiple scenarios, tasks and issues, so anything powerful enough to distract me, is a blessing and at this moment in time, makeup has been that thing for me.

These were just a few things that have made me feel like me recently, and upon recognising what makes me feel happy, comfortable and calm, it's a reminder to value and prioritise them. Do you feel like you do enough to make you feel genuinely happy? why not grab a bit of paper and list three things, just like I have, and this week make them a priority to complete.

see you next Sunday, I promise x

Not pink