A well needed catch up

<setting the scene, because here at Not Pink, we love to set the scene for a story telling experience>

Today's setting is the perfect, in my opinion, setting, shall I tell you why?. Well firstly, it's my favourite day of the week, Sunday, that in itself trumps the vibe of any other day of the week. It's also raining outside, finally, and fun fact I love the rain, well not when you've got your hair and makeup done, but the cosy sentiment attached to rain falling, I love. Every night I fall asleep to the sound of rain on Spotify and I've done it for that long now, that I have jeopardised my Spotify search recommendations. It's no longer a new song that Spotify suggests to me but actually a new rain sound playlist that I should give a listen to, kind of sad but entirely worth it for a good nights sleep. I'm also comfortably sat in a freshly cleaned room, with my favourite candle burning and wearing my comfort dressing gown which I washed in preparation for this exact moment. Welcome back to Not Pink Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope our settings are closely matched, and if they aren't, you know what to do. Let's begin today's entry, a well needed catch up.

<sips warm and cosy drink in excitement>

Perhaps I should begin with an explanation, that's always a helpful starting point before introducing the conjunction of words soon to leave my mouth. If you do not follow me over on Instagram (@annalouiseaitken) , you may have started to think after just a couple of weeks and not even 10 entries reached, this girl has already given up on this blog she once seemed to write so passionately about, but I am here to tell you that this statement is in fact, false. I was away on holiday, and if you do follow me on Instagram then you will be aware of this as I uploaded to my story at every possible moment that I could, which was a lot, <is an apology needed here or shall you be grateful it happened?, sorry that was aggressive!>, and because of my holiday, I missed two Sunday entries, <okay okay, perhaps an apology here is needed ... I'm sorry>, but I am home now, well rested with a cracking tan, if I do say so myself.

Whenever I get down, sad or emotional, I love to do one thing and one thing only, and that is to push the imaginary reset button, to, Alexa play 'Relight my fire' by Take That, and in return, I know that in a couple of days time, after pushing the imaginary button, I'll be ready to start again. This holiday was an extended hold on the reset button, but now that I am home I feel newly inspired, rested and content. So basically what I'm saying is book yourself a holiday and unapologetically chill the f*ck out, joking but also really not joking.

<sips warm and cosy drink, exits Not Pink to search Sky Scanner>

Whilst jetting off 3 and a half hours away to the Costa Del Sol, I made myself a list, yes a list, <I'm such a list girl, maybe by now, you can tell that about me but making a list for every minute and major excursion in my life is essential to calming my overdramatic personality>. This list was headed, 'Topic discussions for Not Pink', <and yes the professional and well written title makes it seem important and organised>, I must say the page was full of detail, ideas and written in a way that only a Not Pink brain would be able to comprehend. Scrolling with my thumb down the page and then back up to the top again, there was a running theme amongst these ideas, along the lines of building self confidence, <which is weird and foreign to my being because I struggle a lot of with self confidence ... but maybe on that one day, I was feeling the urge to just BE CONFIDENT and F*CK WHAT ANYONE HAS TO THINK, ok chill babe>. And so, Not Pink wanted to centre this piece of fabulous writing around the topic of confidence, because I wholeheartedly believe that we are all the best versions of ourselves when we look, feel and appear confident, but I know it's not that simple, or is it?.

<sips warm and cosy drink, asking self, "am I confident?">

Confidence, I believe, to be a women's greatest super power for not just those she encounters but for herself, and that's great, here at Not Pink, we stan. However, <you have to read that whilst slightly grinning from one side of your mouth and lower your voice by a decibel or two>, real, burning and unique confidence is hard to come by and hard to maintain, but when found, you are winning and by that point, it is matter over fact because we now no longer care about what x, y and z have to say about it, you just are confident.

Looking, feeling and appearing confident is my measure of happiness and success, or at least one of them, because when conquered that internal and external feeling must feel so liberating and comfortable. So why?, if that feeling is so desirable, then why not just be it or act it?, it's hard, because we are all human and not every day is going to be perfect, but having been on such a long and what feels like a never-going-to-end journey, I know that someday, we will all feel, look and appear that way.

I did something this week that relit my fire and re-sparked my confidence, I went for a job interview. A job that I really wasn't expecting to even be asked to come in for an interview for, but I did it, and thank god I did because I got the job. That to me, was a stepping stone closer to being unapologetically confident, because I know in my heart, that I would have never committed to doing something that would create even the smallest accumulation of anxiety and nerve, but I did, I simply look passed it, and I've never really done that before <pats self on back>.

Maybe this is your Not Pink reminder that confidence doesn't just have to be about the way you look, or even the way you appear, but sometimes, just how it makes you feel is enough. My interview was on Wednesday, and 5 days on, I still have a spring in my step and an excited nature about my presence, all because I did something out of my comfort zone and did it well.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your homework for this week, if something arrises that seems a little out of your comfort zone but your intrigued to know what the outcome may potentially feel like, then do it!. This week has made me greatly appreciate the long and is-this-ever-going-to-end journey of establishing what I believe to be confidence, and I want you to feel that too.

<sips warm and cosy drink, looking forward to the week ahead>

Please report back to Not Pink next week.

Love from,

Not Pink x